My Boyfriend’s Parents Should Have Meet Me Once Before Rejecting Me

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We come from different generations I understand but what I don’t understand is when people started detesting love.


To Dear Parents of Loving My Boyfriend

This is me. Yes ME, the reason why your kid is being so “unreasonable” these days. The reason why for the first time perhaps in his entire life he has asked for something from you knowing that giving him what he wants will probably hurt you. Yes I get how that must be unpalatable. You are probably harbouring a lot of anger towards me too. I made your kid, YOUR beloved son, do something he has never dared to do in his 27 long years!

Let me tell you something, it’s my first time as well. First time being helpless about a decision that’s probably one of the most important decisions of my life. I have no control over it whatsoever. I am as scared as you are, may be more. So while you debate/question, judge/decide if I get to spend the rest of my lifetime with the love of my life, I sit at the periphery being a spectator to the whole drama that my life has turned into. The more irritating part is you are refusing to even see me.

So before you tell him for the hundredth time that I can’t be in his life, I think it will be better if you atleast know who I am. Because right now all you know about me is all you chose to know about me. You conveniently assumed that I’m some random city girl from a DIFFERENT CASTE wooing your small town talented, successful, naive boy. If I had just this much knowledge about somebody,  I wouldn’t marry my son off with her either! Had you met me and taken a decision, trust me I wouldn’t be writing this letter to you at all.

I just want you to know that I’m a doctor and I’m good at my job from what I’ve heard. I want you to know that I will never be a liability to your son, I am ambitious and I have dreams too, as difficult as it may be for you to believe. Though we may have been raised in completely different environments, the values you taught him are pretty much the same as what my parents taught me (that’s why we got along so well in the first place). I love my family, they are my strength. My parents taught me to be respectful towards elders, to be kind to strangers. And to be empathetic in general.

That is the reason perhaps why I can now acknowledge your concerns about me, even though deep down inside — I’m hurt and confused .

I wanted to tell you what a good job you have done in raising your son, I wanted to thank you actually. For he is the best guy I have come across. No wonder I’m still sitting here waiting for your approval. He is caring, he is supportive and more importantly he is honest in matters of love and life.
I look upto you for the way you brought him up.

Frankly before all this, caste was just an unimportant information scribbled on several of my documents. I never knew that one day my fate would rest upon it! I have so much more to me than that.

Don’t you want to atleast meet me once before deciding that I’m not good for your son? Don’t you want to know why your son is being so “unreasonable” for a girl he has just met? Don’t you wonder if the reason is that, it’s perhaps what makes him happy?

We have been together for too long now and when you are involved with a person for years, you can second-guess what they will decide in a crunch situation. So if he is made to pick between his family and the love of his life, I know he will pick you, his family. That day I will lose but I don’t have any other choice but to respect his decision. There’s a reason why I fell in love with your son. I’m going to be frank here, I won’t be happy with his decision. But, I will pretend to understand so that it becomes a little less painful for him but deep down I will be angry.

I will be angry that in today’s day and age, caste is still a barrier for many many things.

I will be angry that even though he knows that this is wrong, he will still side you. I will be angry that he is willing to toss away our almost decade long relationship for people that refuse to even hear his side. And when this will happen, I will have an intense temptation to make him pick me. When you love someone, you know their weaknesses and you know how to use them to your advantage. But, I will resist that temptation, I will let him be because it might break me now to imagine a life without him but it will certainly destroy me if I became a regret in his life later on.

I feel ashamed to even justify myself here but it’s true that anything is fair in love and war.

I can’t possibly ask the love of my life to choose between the two most important things in his life. You may have the heart to do that but I don’t. I can’t bear to take the burden of the repercussions of that decision. What it will do to him, I have no idea.

Now the question is, are you ready to carry that weight on your conscience for the rest of your life?

Think about it.

Yours truly x

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