After Reading Must Comment That Who Is Responsible for this ?
I am not a student but I was the part of this great university . I am a mother of two children who has so much in her heart to confess. I have so many questions in my mind. I am posting this confession to know who is responsible for this? Should I feel guilty ? and so many unsaid questions…..
It has been around 15 years and not even once have I ever gathered the courage to speak about this to anyone; not even to my own parents, husband or my very close friends. But today I am going to confess something because now this mistake or sin whatever you want to say , has completely broken me from inside. I am completely shattered and I don’t want that anyone else face such situation in their life. I want to aware all the parents who are busy in their own life despite of fact their children are growing to. What are the games children are playing? What are the things they are watching? Please keep an eye on them and tell them what is right or wrong. Be open to your children, talk to them. Time has changed now. Today’s generation has completely different ideology than ours.
I want to share some terrifying years of my life which completely changed the picture of my life…
My age was around four and my brother was three. We used to go school together, play together. We were like perfect siblings. One day when we both were alone at home, we started playing doctor doctor like other children but that childish game completely changed the definition of a pious beautiful relation.
That game was not limited till hajmola candy which we used to take as pill or glucose or supari water which we used to take as a syrup but it was something more. Completely unknown about things what we are doing we started playing with each other’s inner parts in order to give injection and check up. This game was not ended there. We started doing this at our bed time also and this thing continues till our teen age.
At 12 I started feeling some changes in my body. We started playing with those changes also. We both were totally unaware what we are doing and what could be it’s consequences.
We never had S*X , but we did so much to each other.
I am thankful to that day when my parents decided to send me to my bua’s place to study and that thing ended there but that was just the end of that child game. Time of regret, guilt and shame had started.
After few years when we both became mature to understand things and our past mistakes we started ignoring each other. Toady also we are not even comfortable to face each other. We both are guilty within ourselves and this guilt is eating both of us day by day.
Saturday was Rakshabandhan , festival of brother sister’s love and affection. This day always reminds me that how cursed I am , I have a brother with whom I want to share that bond which millions of girls do with their brother but I can’t.
I always have a question in mind.. Who is responsible for all this?
I do have a daughter and son. Each day I fight with this fear. I never allow them to play together , sleep together . I know it’s wrong but what about my fear which I have in my heart locked since years………………………………………….